July 31--Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, of MTV's faux-reality show Jersey Shore, was arrested yesterday in Seaside Heights on a disorderly-conduct charge. Reports say she was booked for being drunk in public. This was reality, but it could have been the show. Check that: It was the show. It was real, that is, but the cameras were rolling, and it'll all get kneaded into America's leading intellectual examination of Atlantic Coast culture. Photos show a bouffantless Snooki, in a T-shirt with the fetching message SLUT, getting hauled off by a brace of Jersey gendarmes. Unnamed Source says Snooki "just needs to be in a drunk tank for two hours." Who doesn't, right? Unnamed tells TMZ Snooki was in a bar drinking "body shots" -- sipped out of someone's navel. Yum! What spurred this littoral rampage? Could it be Thursday's The View on ABC, when Joy Behar asked President Obama about Snooki . . . and he drew a blank? That'll get on the show, too.
Seismic upheaval at 'Idol'
Ellen DeGeneres is leaving American Idol after only one season. News hit Thursday. . . . Oh, wait, here's Jennifer Lopez! Sit down, girl, and do Simon "Darth" Cowell's old job! That's what she'll do, say reports. Also leaving, booted, reports add, is seldom-noticed Kara DioGuardi. For those who Kara'tall, rumors say Steven Tyler, yep, Aerosmith's loosest cannon, will replace her.
A man and two . . . issues
OK, hold your sides. As reported in Friday's "SideShow," Lanesia Garcia is pregnant. She's an ex-squeeze of Levi Johnston, father of baby Tripp. Tripp's mom is Bristol Palin, and his granny is author and inspirational speaker Sarah Palin. Is Levi the dad of Lanesia's eventuality? Yikes. Yikes-o-mania. Levi and Bristol were all lovely again and engaged, and now what? Unnamed Source (the mouth that's everywhere) says Levi, who lolled with Lanesia while on Bristol hiatus, is one of "three possible fathers" of Lanesia's emergence. Levi is doin' some blue-skyin'-denyin'. They should televise those DNA tests, I tell you.
A bag of small items
Jamie-Lynn Sigler (The Sopranos, Entourage) and N.Y. Jets quarterback Mark Sanchez have re-singled after three months of couplehood. He told her to go out for a longggggg pass. . . . Heidi Montag has filed for divorce from Spencer Pratt. Spence, in turn, says his marriage to the surgerized Heidi was "a show." Like, we didn't know. . . . Sir Paul McCartney will play the Wells Fargo (formerly Wachovia) Aug. 14 and 15. But bring your canned goods and donate them! It's Camp McCartney time again with WMGK-FM (102.9) jock and Beatlemaniac Andre Gardner. He'll park his RV in the Wells Fargo lot, do his show, and stay all weekend to collect nonperishable foods and give them to Philabundance. In 2005, last time Mac attacked, Andre gave 'em thousands of pounds of food. . . . "I love being this cheesy!" chirped perky kitchen elf Rachael Ray on her Wednesday show. Artist Jason Baalman had just unveiled a huge portrait of Ray-Ray entirely made of Cheetos!!! He uses different flavors for different shades. Check it out: http://go.philly.com/cheeseray.
Contact "SideShow" at sideshow@phillynews.com.
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